How a Haircut Became a Spiritual Experience

Ok, so I know the title is a bit dramatic…maybe it really isn’t that dramatic, but I got your attention right?

The past couple of weeks I have been in the practice of surrender. It’s been challenging to say the least. To me, surrender is not giving up, but mindfully and lovingly letting go of what isn’t serving you. The challenge with surrender is that it is about letting go, despite the history of the situation, fear of the unknown, and pain of uncertainty. Many of us will stay in a very painful place in our lives and endure these situations, from relationships, to careers, to how we deal with things. Why do we do this? Is it because we are sadomasochists? No, it’s because it is much more painful to step away from what we know into what we don’t know, even if what we know is drowning us.

The process of surrender begins with letting go of attachments. Attachments can range from physical items that you own or expectations of what should or shouldn’t be. But here is the thing…attachments can change at any time. They can be altered or even disappear. Basing our happiness or self-worth on attachments can be a slippery slope, because at the end of the day you are basing it on something you have no control over. Surrender is a process of release and when you can truly release your worries and fears than you can become truly free.

So what does this have anything to do with my hair? For the longest time I have been growing my long locks and have gotten so many compliments. During this time, I really wanted to change some things and shake things up! So what better than a new look? But of course I had some reservations, my hair has become part of my brand and to take that away, what would that leave me with? So the act of cutting my hair became very symbolic for me and a real metaphor of surrender and letting go of attachments. Because at the end of the day, long hair or not, I’m still the same me and nothing physical about me, things that I own, or expectations that I have do not define who I truly am inside at my authentic core.

Surrender isn’t easy by any means, but would you rather let go and yes, you may possibly fail and fall flat on your face, or stay imprisoned by the attachments you are holding onto with fear?

What do you need to surrender to become free? I would love to hear about it, please leave your comments below!

And now the GRAND REVEAL….

Before
Collagelong hair

After
Collageshorthair

It’s so weird when I run my hand through my hair…my mind goes where is the rest of it? But I am embracing the change and that really what surrender is all about.

Have a beautiful day! Until next time stay mindful and stay present.

Love,
Melissa

Instructions for a Bad Day

This week I want to share a poem and video that I found quite inspiring: Instructions for a Bad Day by Shane Koyczan. I hope you enjoy and I plan to return to writing soon.

Until next time, stay mindful and stay present.

Love & Gratitude,

Melissa

Instructions For a Bad Day by Shane Koyczan

“There will be bad days. Be calm. Loosen your grip, opening each palm slowly now. Let go. Be confident. Know that now is only a moment, and that if today is as bad as it gets, understand that by tomorrow, today will have ended. Be gracious. Accept each extended hand offered, to pull you back from the somewhere you cannot escape. Be diligent. Scrape the gray sky clean. Realize every dark cloud is a smoke screen meant to blind us from the truth, and the truth is whether we see them or not – the sun and moon are still there and always there is light. Be forthright. Despite your instinct to say “it’s alright, I’m okay” – be honest. Say how you feel without fear or guilt, without remorse or complexity. Be lucid in your explanation, be sterling in your oppose. If you think for one second no one knows what you’ve been going through; be accepting of the fact that you are wrong, that the long drawn and heavy breaths of despair have at times been felt by everyone – that pain is part of the human condition and that alone makes you a legion. We hungry underdogs, we risers with dawn, we dissmisser’s of odds, we blesser’s of on – we will station ourselves to the calm. We will hold ourselves to the steady, be ready player one. Life is going to come at you armed with hard times and tough choices, your voice is your weapon, your thoughts ammunition – there are no free extra men, be aware that as the instant now passes, it exists now as then. So be a mirror reflecting yourself back, and remembering the times when you thought all of this was too hard and you’d never make it through. Remember the times you could have pressed quit – but you hit continue. Be forgiving. Living with the burden of anger, is not living. Giving your focus to wrath will leave your entire self absent of what you need. Love and hate are beasts and the one that grows is the one you feed. Be persistent. Be the weed growing through the cracks in the cement, beautiful – because it doesn’t know it’s not supposed to grow there. Be resolute. Declare what you accept as true in a way that envisions the resolve with which you accept it. If you are having a good day, be considerate. A simple smile could be the first-aid kit that someone has been looking for. If you believe with absolute honesty that you are doing everything you can – do more. There will be bad days, Times when the world weighs on you for so long it leaves you looking for an easy way out. There will be moments when the drought of joy seems unending. Instances spent pretending that everything is alright when it clearly is not, check your blind spot. See that love is still there, be patient. Every nightmare has a beginning, but every bad day has an end. Ignore what others have called you. I am calling you friend. Make us comprehend the urgency of your crisis. Silence left to its own devices, breed’s silence. So speak and be heard. One word after the next, express yourself and put your life in the context – if you find that no one is listening, be loud. Make noise. Stand in poise and be open. Hope in these situations is not enough and you will need someone to lean on. In the unlikely event that you have no one, look again. Everyone is blessed with the ability to listen. The deaf will hear you with their eyes. The blind will see you with their hands. Let your heart fill their news-stands, Let them read all about it. Admit to the bad days, the impossible nights. Listen to the insights of those who have been there, but come back. They will tell you; you can stack misery, you can pack disappear you can even wear your sorrow – but come tomorrow you must change your clothes. Everyone knows pain. We are not meant to carry it forever. We were never meant to hold it so closely, so be certain in the belief that what pain belongs to now will belong soon to then. That when someone asks you how was your day, realize that for some of us – it’s the only way we know how to say, be calm. Loosen your grip, opening each palm, slowly now – let go.”

What is up with Resistance?

What is needed, rather than running away or controlling or suppressing or any other resistance, is understanding fear; that means, watch it, learn about it, come directly into contact with it. We are to learn about fear, not how to escape from it.
Jiddu Krishnamurti

I’ve written about resistance before, and here we are again with this topic. What is up with that? This week I have been finding myself at a point of resistance again, not moving forward in certain areas of my life, including the publication of my book. Things are almost in motion for phase two of its publication, but something has been holding me back. Whether it is conscious or unconscious, I have been fearful of moving forward. Again, what is up with that??!!

Over the past months, I have been learning that life is not necessarily about being fearless. Now don’t get me wrong, I love strong exclamations of being fearless; it fires me up! But what I have come to realize is that change doesn’t come without some sort of fear. So big fear means big change! If we are able to harness this fear and learn from it, rather than cower, imagine what possibilities and opportunities will become clearer to us.

I guess that what life is, navigating through fear, learning from it, and moving on to the next fear. Jumping from fear to fear, continuously learning from the process, day by day, week by week, year by year. Yes it can be exhausting and it only ends when we finally leave this earth. But instead of dreading those moments of fear, we can learn to appreciate them for what they really are: opportunities to learn, grow, and change.

Perhaps the path of the least resistance isn't always the best path.

Perhaps the path of the least resistance isn’t always the best path.

What has been the last lesson fear has taught you? I would love to hear about your experiences, please share them in the comments below!

Have an amazing week! Until next time, stay mindful and stay present.

Love, Melissa
xoxo